Knowing Yourself is the beginning of all Wisdom.

I acknowledge this phrase and accept it but…..

When do I get to know myself and where is the time?

• I have got to finish my studies and get a job first.

• I need to build my career and have so many responsibilities to fulfil.

• I am caught up with taking care of my family and household.

• I barely get time to spend with my family and friends. 

• I am so busy balancing work and life.

Any of the above could be your statement and reaction. Which is not unexpected.

We habitually go with the flow of life and lead a busy life that we do not get to know ourselves. Going with the flow is like the lazy river in an amusement park being laid back, with no thought or action.

Sometimes life throws a spanner in the work. We then most often just react to what is thrown towards us and deal with the challenges. Do we get a sense of achievement on overcoming the challenge or feel a sense of relief that its done and dusted or got rid of. Days, weeks, years, decades pass in a similar routine and we are mistaken with the knowledge that we have about life, rather than with wisdom that gives us profound awareness of the life we wanted to live.

Earl Nightingale begins the Strangest Secret with a reference to Dr. Albert Schweitzer – Noble Prize Winner, who responded to a question, “Doctor, what is wrong with men today?” with a thoughtful reply, “Men simply don’t think.”

Strange as it may sound, it is the bitter truth. We hardly ever spend time to think about our own lives, our dreams and aspirations that we had in childhood, or the vision of the future. We get stuck in conformity and lose track of time until its too late and what remains are regrets.

It is in the thinking that the wisdom about ourselves with be revealed.

Knowing oneself can happen when we devote time to reflect, contemplate, introspect. Knowing oneself can happen when we spend time with oneself.

Just as professionals do in the workplace – schedule a meeting with yourself!

Inculcate this as a Deliberate Practice – a few moments every day, but most important spare 20 to 30 minutes once a week as a “me time”. Spend time with the most important person in your life.

Thinking is a cognitive effort; hence it does not come easily and we give up, hence it must be deliberate.  Mental blocks, underplaying our true emotions, lack of confidence, unwillingness to take risks can be a constrain for thinking. Thinking therefore is ignored, is given the least importance, and never crosses our mind.

New year resolutions take shape but lose steam in a short while. We begin many things when we are inspired or motivated but do not go the whole way. It is cut short by event and circumstances and we do not get back to track.

The lack of thought on the “why” is the key reason for the discontinuity and for us to give up.

Let us consider the most common of resolutions for the New Year – to lose weight or to exercise regularly. If enough thought is given one would understand why losing weight is important, what is the impact it would have in my life, what are the benefits, what could go from bad to worse if it is not taken care. But over an above this is to change the approach to I want to be fit and healthy like an athlete.

This will be an ongoing process not limited to 3 months or 6 months or until the annual gym membership is valid. The objective is to become healthy, flexible, increase energy, be fit and not just to lose weight. Losing weight is now an automatic byproduct, an outcome of the learning and practice.

The simplicity of this approach is thinking deeper and getting better clarity on the objective and the eventual outcome. The “why” is now crystal clear.

Thought now becomes things, a new habit, a new pattern emerges to a better lifestyle.

Thus “deliberate thinking” can be a big differentiator and life changing.

A new approach will be to inculcate Thinking into our regular routine and make it a habit. Making daily reflection an integral part of life. Spend some time as less as 5 minutes every day and delve into one question. And without fail, dedicate more time during the weekend in sacred reflection.

The concept of thinking may appear to be intimidating but we can make it simpler when we see it as a process:

• Examining the present, what is my life now, how do I feel now?

• Identify what is missing in my life, figure out the gaps.

• Taking action steps towards a more fulfilling life.

Think - What are things that I should Start, Stop or Continue doing.

Having found a simple process, begin immediately. If we have never done it in the past there is no better time than the present. The past is lost, the present is in our hands so we do not want this time to slip away. Now is the best time to get started.

The underlining message that Earl Nightingale states in the Strangest Secret is “Here is the key to success and the key to failure. We become what we think about.”

If the difference between success and failure is thinking, this strangest secret should be an inspiration to get the act of thinking started. Make a decision, make a commitment that we seek success and join an elite group of people – wise people. Or ignore making a decision to start and put this into the bucket of procrastination.

Lets begin with some pointers to begin the thinking. Delve upon any one of the below questions that you resonate with and pick that up for a start.

• What is the most important thing in life for me?

• Am I being true to myself?

• What is the gap between who do I want to be and who I am now?

• What am I scared of, what are my fears, which is holding me back?

• When did I last attempt to go out of my comfort zone?

• What do I need to change about myself?

• What strengths of mine are in put in the cold storage?

These are a few questions to ponder upon to begin with. There can be more areas that can be a beginning for the thinking process

• What are my beliefs, values and ethics,

• What are my contributions to the people around me,

• What are my deepest desires and dreams that are subdued?

• What motivates me to take intentional action?

• What are the emotions that support me in dealing with life?

• What emotions am I not in control that causes regret and discomfort?

• What are my personality traits that I can enhance and what do I wish to work upon?

• What do I want to be remembered for?

Contemplation will lead to awareness and this would be a good start to knowing oneself. Spending time with oneself and thinking is the most essential difference to know if we are floating in the lazy river going around in circles or sailing a boat into the sea with the willingness of the mind and the clarity of the destination.

Begin leaving the shores of the comfort zone and sail away in the direction of your destination. You always have the choice to change your direction as well as your destination. It will however be an outcome of your thinking, your introspection, your reflection, your wisdom.

A simple structure that can act as a guide.

• Schedule an appointment with the most important person in your life – yourself.

• Choose a time where you will be devoid of any distractions and can be in complete silence.

• Sit in a comfortable place supporting your back with the eyes closed.

• Breathe deep to align yourself, park anything that is of concern aside for now.

• Start with a question that you resonate with the most and begin your conversation with yourself.

• Be with the question and seek answers.

Once you spend time in introspection make it a point to write them down – journaling them. It serves as a reminder to further this process to delving more, to get better clarity, to understand patterns, get to know what to reading, who to talk to, consult a therapist or a coach, visualize the big picture emerging out, explore beliefs, values and ethics, emotions, goals, aspirations, inspirations, role models, etc.

The thoughts that emerged and are recorded will continue to show up everyday and make us aware of the opportunities. New ideas will emerge and bigger pictures will be seen, record them so you do not lose the thoughts and will come handy in your next appointment with yourself.

Every journey begins with a single step, thoughts will become clear, with clarity comes the desire to walk the path, the desire motivates and kindles the momentum to take concrete action. 

This could as well be the turning point for our life. The difference between success and failure. Living a life that has vision and direction and the inspiration to walk this path.

Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman Emperor, said, “A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it.”

Contrary to this if man does not make time to think, what would his life be?

Thinking is not easy; it is a cognitive effort to be inculcated into our daily routine and habit. Habits becomes our character and who we want to become.